twenty years ago

I am celebrating an anniversary ... it was 20 years ago that I started working in Education.

It's a little weird in a way - I hated school. I floundered academically, and remember struggling, finding it all truly horrible. It was a fairly painful time in many ways.

After leaving school, I had no idea of what I wanted to do. I went from job to job trying different things, hoping to find my calling. I was a carpet cleaner for a while, vacuum cleaner salesman, taxi driver, courier, an assistant manager at a restaurant, newspaper sales regional representative, A Theatre Production Assistant ...

I have to admit ... I have never been too money hungry. I always believed that it was more important to enjoy what you did than to be doing a job because the pay was good.

When I saw the position for an Educational Assistant in the paper, I thought it would be worth exploring. I had experience as a youth help line volunteer, and felt good about the work I had done with that organization over the last couple of years, so I thought this might also be rewarding.

It was ... over the years I have enjoyed working with children and young adults, in many different capacities. My experiences have helped me grow and improve. Through the years I have been fortunate to learn much more, and become an effective, positive role model in the schools.

I have been an instructor for Continuing Education, teaching various computer courses; I have been a Computer Lab Administrator, helping to set up and maintain computers as their popularity increased throughout schools.

In many ways, my experiences as a student in school have ended up helping me be more effective in my job. I can relate to students that are struggling, troubled and feeling lost.

School is not for everyone. Sometimes it can be like trying to pound a square peg into a round hole. There are more important things than school ... character, intention, citizenship, perspective. Academics are only part of the picture.

I am proud to work in Education, and continue to grow and learn as the years pass. I look forward to the challenges ahead, whatever they may be ...

my former self

It wouldn't surprise me to learn that many people can't relate to me anymore ... I am not the man I used to be.

There was a time when I was aggressive and demanding. I am far from perfect, and at times still probably a little demanding, but I am a work in progress. I am not perfect, and expect I never will be. I have come a long way, but know that it is a never ending journey.

I have spent much of my life like many people ... a little misguided. My idea of success was to dominate and win. Anyone can live this way, but there is a price that comes with the lifestyle. Stress and unhappiness were side effects of the world I lived in then. I remember the pressure of the destructive nature of my life back then. It was taking it's toll on my health ... I knew it was no way to live, and that changes needed to be made.

There was a point when I enjoyed arguments, and could win most ... but it produced a lot of negative energy. I could feel the toxic juices flowing throughout my body during the heat of battles ... it was ugly, and in the end, wrong.

I decided that my lifestyle, the way I thought, my goals and intentions had to re - tuned to be healthier and more loving. I set out on a mission to improve my world, my future, my spirit and my health. It would be an upward spiral that involved daily efforts to tap into the positive forces within us all, and focus on what is good in our world.

Adversity can often be a wonderful catalyst for change, and for me it was a battle with Crohn's Disease and a failed marriage. I remember not liking who I was back then and knowing my life needed to change.

Setbacks happen. They are part of life, and we all stumble from time to time. If we can learn from them, forgive and move on, we can be richer for it.

I continue to try to grow and improve. I focus on love, joy and positivity. Life has improved and my world is filled with many good things I am grateful for. The journey continues, day by day, and I keep heading for that man I want to be.

yes I can

It had been a very long day. The movers come tomorrow to cart everything in my apartment away. I am exhausted, but there are still a few loose ends to take care of. I looked at the mop, bucket vacuum cleaner and attachments ... I had to take them down the stairs to my car. A little voice in my head told me that I'd never be able to make it downstairs with all that stuff in one trip. My voice of strength piped up and said

Yes I can.

This voice is not some random being within me ... it is a voice I have trained. Years ago I started to counter insecurities and negative thinking with an opposite, positive voice. This is an affirmation of all that is achievable. Can I change my negative thoughts to positive ones?

Yes I can.

We often predetermine the outcome of challenges before us (big and small). We decide ahead of time if we can or can't. We envision our success or failure. It is a very powerful thing. Harnessing energies within us like this has the potential to overcome that voice of doubt that sometimes pops up in our minds. Can I control my destiny?

Yes I can.

Instead of being your own worst enemy,
you can be your own super hero.

Picture your success. Focus on victory. Overcome those negative thoughts ... counter them with the positive ones. Be your own advocate; harness the strengths within you by countering the doubts and fears with that voice of strength within you. Can I become more successful more often?

Yes I can.